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And knowing the reason can be therapeutic in a way.

So here is the Men don’t cheat because they’re scumbags or scoundrels.

Meeting people on the Internet has moved mainstream. Browsing a site such as is like browsing a catalog of potential love interests. Like at a masked ball, people can act in ways that they normally wouldn’t.

So I signed up for Match.com, which has more than 21.5 million subscribers. One woman wrote me, "Unlike Popeye, I am NOT what I am but if nothing else I am kind and compassionate and to top it off I am interesting and exciting." None of the women on Match were boring. Philip Muskin, Professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, is not surprised. Esther Gwinnell, a psychiatrist who practices in Portland, Oregon, described the pitfalls in her book, Online Seductions.But the anonymity of the Internet, Gwinnell says, “breaks down ordinary barriers to intimacy.” In short, you feel like you can spill your guts in e-mails to a stranger.Dating sites are now steering you toward people who have similar tastes in movies, music, religion and education, " Bartz said."And people are spending more time on their phones and the dating sites know this.It's when you start having four, five, eight, ten red flags that you need to think very hard about where your relationship can go.